First thing I did was steal a body...

Repossessed
A.M. Jenkins218 pages; published 2007
I don't like the term "demon". It carries quite a bit of negativity with it. It implies a pointy tail and cloven hooves. I prefer the term "fallen angel". That is, indeed, what we are. The difference between us and the angels who didn't fall from grace is that the Unfallen were, are, and always will be faithful, stalwart, and obedient. That is their nature, just as it is their nature to rejoice in worship and contemplation of the vastness of the Creator's perfection. We, the Fallen, wondered, questioned, confronted, eventually demanded, and in general, pushed the edges of the envelope until the envelope burst.

[...] the Unfallen don't hang out with us peons much anymore.

I've never really liked those guys. (p 9/10)

Kiriel is one of the Fallen, one of the angels who supported Satan in his uprising. But after spending millenia in the bowels of Hell, reflecting the sorrows of the sinners under his jurisdiction while living out his own eternal punishment, things have become a little stale and he decides to take a little vacation.

In order to take this vacation, Kiriel hijacks the body of the unassuming Shaun seconds before he dies - Kiriel thinks this perfectly acceptable, after all, he was going to die anyway, and his possession merely eliminated much of the pain the boy would have felt anyway. Taking over his body, however, also means taking over his life and Kiriel finds himself immersed in the sensations and emotions of human life - and more specifically, the world of a seventeen year old.

Kiriel knows that his 'vacation' won't go unnoticed forever though - it is, after all, completely against the rules - but he intends to enjoy it for as long as 'humanly' possible.

angeloftheLord: Kiriel, you are trespassing in direct contravention of the Creator's wishes. This is a warning: Return to your duties or you will be punished.

All the warmth had left my fingertips.

trojanxxl: who is this?

Bloo-bloo-bloop!

angeloftheLord: You must return to your duties immediately.

An eternity of wishing to speak directly to my Creator, I thought in despair - and this is how He finally contacts me? Through AOL Instant Messenger? (p 97/8)


While I loved the premise of the novel, and found it cute funny in places, I did have my issues with it. For instance, it took less than twenty pages for Kiriel to turn to his first major exploration of humanity: masturbation. This leads into his central (not only, but major) quest for the novel: sex. He sets his sights on one girl and pursues her for the entirely with little (some but not much) regard for the reality of the situation or the fact that this is a real person he's trying to catch here. Perhaps this would appeal more to a male, seventeen-year-old audience, but, for me, it had quite a large negative impact on what should have been a good book.

That said, however, it did have it's redeeming qualities. The presentation of Kiriel as a fallen angel (as opposed to a 'demon') who, despite his backing of Satan ("The Boss"), sincerly and desperately wishes to retain the communication with, and love of, God ("The Creator") was both fascinating and moving. Similarly, the unrecognised acts of redemption Kiriel undertakes during his illicit 'vacation' are quite touching.

It was an okay book - shifting to quite good in places - but overall I feel that the story had the potential to be much better than it was. 2.5/5



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The end of the world...

Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

383 pages; published 1990

"This isn't how I imagined it, chaps," said War. "I haven't been waiting for thousands of years just to fiddle around with bits of wire. It's not what you'd call dramatic. Albrecht Duerer didn't waste his time doing woodcuts of the Four Button-Pressers of the Apocalypse, I do know that." -- Armageddon delayed by technical difficulties

Never before has the Apocalypse been so funny. Forget fire and brimstone or Doomsday clocks, when the end of the world is being told by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman you know you're in for a strange ride.

The Anti-Christ has come to Earth. This means the end of the world - it has, after all, been foretold in the 'Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter' (sixteenth century witch and nutball). The final battle between Heaven and Hell will soon be waged and all of it will be brought to head by this one child.

Unfortunately for all involved, there's a slight mix up in the baby-switching operation and the child in question is just an ordinary child, whereas the Anti-Christ, the spawn of Satan himself, is sent off to the quiet little suburban town of Tadfield to live his days as a normal kid and all round rascal.

'Field agents' in this cosmic battle are the demon Crowley (formerly the more serpentine 'Crawley' - the reptilian temptor) and the angel Aziraphale. The pair have been monitoring ("messing with") the state of avairs on Earth - a touch a good here, a slew of evil there - since the beginning of time and, despite their inherent differences, have long since come to a kind of truce, even friendship. What's more, this friendship allows them to come to the reluctant opinion that, inspite of the Great Plan, in spite of the fact that their respective sides have been working towards this final showdown for millenia, well, they rather like Earth.

'We'll win, of course,' he said.

'You don't want that,' said the demon.

'Why not, pray?'

[...]

'...No salt, no eggs. No gravlax with dill sauce. No fascinating little restaurantswhere they know you. No Daily Telegraph crossword. No small antique shops. No bookshops, either. No interesting old editions. No -' Crowley scraped the bottom of Aziraphale's barrel of interests - 'Regency silver snuffboxes...'

'But after we win life will be better!' croaked the angel.

'But it won't be as interesting. Look, you know I'm right. You'd be as happy with a harp as I'd be with a pitchfork.' (47/8)

Putting a plan in motion to monitor the "Anti-Christ", to make sure his natural evil tendencies do not come out in full force, the pair are rather pleased with themselves ... until they lean that it has all been for naught. The Anti-Christ, one Adam Young, is still out there somewhere, the four horsemen (bikers) are riding and the Apocalypse is nigh.

Can Crowley and Aziraphale get there in time to stop it? Can they dodge paranoid witch hunters, aliens, and superiors from Hell (literally) and save the Earth before it's too late?

I normally avoid books written by two authors, I find that more often than not, the two voices jar against one another. But when I saw that Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman (two of my favourite authors) had paired up, I just couldn't resist. And I could not have been happier! Pratchett's outrageous humour was not suffocated but cushioned, enhanced, by Gaiman's rich detail; their two styles flowed together beautifully.

Good Omens was just the right amount of serious story telling and nutty commentary. Heartily recommended! 4.5/5

God vs. Devil

The Book of Joby
Mark J. Ferrari

638 pages, published 2007

In this rewrite of the Book of Job, God and the Devil replay an age old bet regarding the morality and inherent goodness of mankind; the wager: mankind itself. Poor Joby is taken as the object of this bet, his life constantly interfered with and tortured over by the Lucifer and his minions. Intertwined with the long-loved stories of Arthur and Camelot, it is a beautifully fantastic novel, studying just how much one human soul can withstand .

It wasn’t until I got half way through this huge six-hundred page book that I realised that this was Ferrari’s first book. I can’t remember the last time I read a first book that I enjoyed so thoroughly. The characters were relatable, his plot original, and his stance on hard and true impressions creative. Anyone who can make out God to be a kindly old man who likes jokes in poor taste, allows him to swear, actually applauds Lucifer for having the guts to defy him and STILL manages to write this character in a respectful fashion deserves applaud! On top of that his phrasing was lovely, absolutely beautiful in parts, and though long, I never felt it to drag. A wonderful book, a must-read! 5/5